- I love the distinct voices you have created for both characters
- Page 3, para 2 “I closed my door…in the moment.” I love the inner turmoil portrayed in these lines
- The joking coping mechanism He has is very believable and relatable
- Page 5 last paragraph, it feels like it ends a bit abruptly. I kind of want to hear more about what’s going on inside her head in this moment
- THE LAST LINE IS SO GOOD I love the contrast between her optimism that he’ll open up eventually and his pessimism that he never will be able to open up to her
- Maybe try to portray the fact that he isn’t okay a bit more? I know we have his sleeping difficulties and his jokes (even in his inner monologue) but realistically I feel like there still is gonna be some more doom and gloom in his mind if he truly is “not okay”
