- I really love the voice that the narrator has, it seems to be very relatable and believable
- Your prose is amazing. Reading this story was so satisfying from a lyrical standpoint
- Going along with that ^^^ the way you’ve written the way Seb lives in his mind and is prone to overthinking is done very well
- Pg 3 first full paragraph: change “dead” to “day” in the second sentence
- I love people watching. I love how easily Seb is swept into these strangers’ stories and then he yanks himself out from his mind
- ^^^ Seb can really see and understand people thanks to his people watching skills. I feel like some of the descriptions could be less explicit and just rely on the way he is viewing the people. Like on pg 6 para 2, the way you describe the mom is so amazing but it seems a bit dragged out with the final descriptive part saying ” This is the exhaustion that comes from constant stress, with little to no time for relief and recovery. I feel for her, who knows what she is going through, but everyone deserves time to rest and be their best self.” Perhaps get rid of the first sentence in that excerpt and keep the second one
- The ending is a bit confusing. Perhaps you could flesh it out a bit more and add some more context as to why/how Seb is feeling?
