- You have such little lines sprinkled throughout that aren’t always super important to the story but I appreciate them so much! (A highlight reel for you viewing pleasure)
- Pg 1 para 1 ” She slapped her hand against mine, squeezing with such force even an alligator would be tamed.”
- Pg 3 para 1 “The bright white light emanating from the moon was intermittently covered with passing clouds and the steam rising from our warm breath in the cold November night.”
- Pg 6 para 4 “The tears flooded my eyes, shooting the light from the moon and stars every which way.”
- I was so hoping that they were going to get together in the end. This title is misleading and I’m upset 🙁
- Pg 7 final para ” As soon as she stepped away from my embrace, my grasp, my home grabbed her luggage and waved me goodbye.” OUCH MY LIL HEART
- I wish we had gotten more of a feel for how June felt about the narrator. Was the obsession/crush mutual or was it solely platonic for her?
- The characterizations were very well done. The contrast between June’s erratic nature and the narrator’s more reserved nature plays very well together
- I also think you captured the narrator’s anxiety quite well, especially with the grass and creepy crawlies
