Right off the bat, I am kinda obsessed with how pessimistic the narrator is. I am hoping for pessimism to optimism arc Pg 2 second to last para: Is it realistic that he would be able to guess all of that simply by crashing into this girl? Seems a wee bit too spot on Pg 3 para 2 “Brutally honest, and don’t give a single fuck about what anyone thinks of you, which is either one of your only redeeming…
I think that Sammy and Brooke as characters play off of each other really well Pg 3 second para “Sammy placed her right hand on Brooke’s shoulder keeping her eyes on the road, eyes that were holding back tears of their own.” I love this moment of intimacy between Sammy and Brooke I love the moment that they changed their hair. Its a bit of a cliche like new hair new beginnings but its a cliche that I personally adore….
Again, your prose is absolutely beautiful. I am obsessed with they way you describe things pg 1 “Fur weaved through Adelaide’s fingertips like a tendril of shadows if darkness was made of silk as she gently stroked her hand along her rabbit, Pistachio’s, long, floppy ears.” pg 5 “She missed the smell of his leather-bound books and sitting in his lap by a peaceful fire while he looked down his long, aristocratic nose at paperwork” I love the flashbacks. They…
I like the time jump and how you gave us the location I like how absolutely enthralled the narrator is with Gwen, she is definitely a girl boss Pg 5 second to last para ” These movements were familiar. So familiar that memories began to creep into my head. So many bodies. Some of them were dead. Some were just knocked out. I didn’t know any of them, but one face was stuck in my head. A young boy, only…
When is this supposed to be taking place? I like the old-timey vibes a lot Is it realistic that two men would be able to dance with each other without fear of gossip? I like the bickering between Finn and Jonathon. They can’t stand to be together but can’t stand to be apart either The time jumps are good, but I feel we need some more tension because of them I wish we got more of a look into Finn’s…
