The story that I chose to revise was my first short story, Star Crossed. I picked this one because I really resonated with the voice of the narrator and it was the plot I was the most excited about and proud of between my first and second short stories. One of the biggest changes I made in my story was giving Hamish a background. Probably the most agreed upon criticism I received during my workshop was that Hamish was a bit of a flat character and that I missed the opportunity to use him to further the plot or use him in some way to add more to the story. My original thought was to make him magical to keep with the mythical vibes I have already established in the story. Brady had suggested that I make him more of an omniscient being but I truly had no idea how I would write that into an already lore heavy storyline. What I did was make him a bit of a hopeless romantic. I had him encounter a bit of magic with Gaia and he encountered heartbreak as well because of her. She had responsibilities and so that made him understand Sun and Moon’s situation all the greater. I wanted to try to have Hamish work that information into conversation with Moon somehow, but I felt like Moon would have been too skittish and probably felt threatened like he was on to her after hearing that information and so the rest of the plotline would have fallen apart. Another thing I changed was giving Sun more of a reason as to why she left Moon to return to the sky. I took heavy inspiration from a line in “Call Me By Your Name” when one of the characters is at breakfast and eats a soft boiled egg but declines having a second one and says he knows himself too well and once he starts going he wont be able to stop himself. This was supposed to be him also saying he knew that if he started relations with the other character he wouldn’t be able to end them or at least not in a way that would make him feel good. I feel like Sun would probably have a very similar mind set. She was more mature and more driven in her job than Moon was. Where Moon could only see love, Sun could see her hard work and responsibilities going down the drain. I was already very happy with a lot of my prose going into revisions. I did kind of do the thing we weren’t supposed to do and I revised as I went to as for other smaller revisions and changes I haven’t kept track of them.